mole:

sometimes i think if i kill a bug the bugs friends will all find out or s/t and they’ll hate me and that is the stupidest thing ever

internetexplorers:

if you’re a cute boy and you call me baby i will actually melt on you

michaelpalin:

i dont understand the pleasure in sexting 

like ok what if i got a text that was like ‘oh my dick is hard’ like

what would

?????

how do i respond??

‘i’m so happy for you’

13mph:

In 4th grade I pointed out two mistakes my teacher made on a worksheet and she looked me dead in the eye and said, “You’re not perfect either, Andrew” and I’m still not over that.

(Source: 180mph)

100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person